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A day at the beach…

Beach plus instragram

I recently had to travel to Florida to attend a digital conference for work. We stayed in this amazing hotel, it had amenities like the sea has anemones, spiraling staircases, great food, and amazing views. But can I tell you about the one thing it didn’t have; my family. I couldn’t help but imagine my son playing in the ridiculously over-sized pool, or my daughter running in the acres of fields surrounding our hotel like an eager army awaiting engagement. My wife–she would have loved the breakfast buffet. It had rows and rows of raspberries, thick red bacon, and a stainless steel omelette bar that chef Gordon Ramsey would’ve been proud of. It was stunning, and I didn’t take any pictures because unless their beautiful faces are in them, I just don’t know what the point is.

Okay, I lied. I took one picture, and it’s the one above; from the day we slipped on over to Cocoa Beach for the afternoon. I don’t care who you are, the beach and more importantly the ocean are majestic like the Rocky mountains. Tranquil like a hot summer night and ominous like a thunderhead…’what’s in there’, you end up thinking. Maybe I realized how important family has become to me while I was on the beach and later walking through the town in the hot Floridian sun. Something I didn’t see coming, but definitely the byproduct of growing up and realizing what things are important to you in life. I wouldn’t trade them for anything in this universe and to that end, I couldn’t imagine a family in this universe that I would prefer to be a part of. I suppose life is poetically humorous. I used to want to be a lone-wolf artist, an army of one if you will. Now all I want is for my family to be in my photos, my friends faces to be dancing through my dreams at night, and my community to be so much a part of my life that I don’t know where I end and they begin. I’m so grateful to have all of those things, I remain; unreasonably blessed. ~SDG

Posted by matthewredder | May 15, 2013 | Categories: Thoughts on life | Tags: Cocoa Beach, family, florida, ocean | Leave A Comment »

What is it for you?

Yesterday I was at church; so glad to be back with my family. So glad to be back in a room filled with others who want to be filled by the King. Our Pastor asked a tough question. Referring to the parable of the talents he asked, “What is that gift that you have that’s been put up on a shelf? What is the thing that you could be using for the glory of God, but instead choose to ignore?” What a tough question; besides who wants to actually be challenged at church to think!?! (umm sarcasm)

Life. What a tough thing to balance.

I know that there will be a time again when the gift will be fully used, and most importantly for His glory. I’m excited to take the thing off the shelf, dust it off, put it on a canvas and let the color-shape-line-texture tell the story. I’m excited to forget what time it is, to forget about the graphite smudge on my face, and to feel overwhelmingly full when sharing my gift with others. I can feel the time coming, I pray for patience and courage to express the gift.

Posted by matthewredder | November 26, 2012 | Categories: Thoughts on life | Tags: Art, church, Colorado, Cyber MOnday, Gifts, painting, parables, talents | 2 Comments »

Revelation Painting

So, have you ever been to a church service where someone was frantically painting on a canvas all sorts of madness while worship was playing or even right through the message? My personal feeling is that generally it’s very distracting, and with that in mind, I agreed to do just that this morning during our service. This is what came from it:

Now normally, I can’t even think about finishing a painting in less than 3 months, let alone 40 minutes. With that said, I felt like this was a good challenge, and a cool way to help people connect to the ambiguous-picturesque-visionary nature of the book of Revelation. As things go, Friday night the Denver news released the information that Jessica Ridgeway had been positively identified. The identification process took so long because the body was mangled, and the authorities wanted to be sure before dropping a bomb like that on the community. As I processed the news Friday night, I had my own kind-of revelation: I was going to collage into this painting news clippings from the Saturday morning news. I especially wanted to get Jessica’s face in the painting. And if you look, you can see her sweet smile just above Jesus’ left eye in the painting. Now I’m not going to go into a theological discourse as to why an omniscient all-powerful God allows such horrific things to happen, I’m just going to share what moved me about all this.

Revelation 1:17-18 says, “When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he placed his right hand on me saying, ‘Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last, and the living one. I was dead, and see, I am alive forever and ever; and I have the keys of Death and of Hades.” I’m so thankful that Jessica is in the hands of the king right now; away from sorrow, away from pain, away from horror. Whatever she experienced here on Earth is done and over with, she is at home with the King, who holds the keys of Death and Hades in His hands. Jessica is in Jesus tonight. And I wanted to make sure to capture that this morning with this painting.

I often don’t understand why things happen. Like a lot of people I look up to heaven and ask God, “why?” I am done being mad at Him about these things, that never seems to go anywhere healthy. I’ll say one thing however, one last thing tonight; that “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13) Our community will be stronger as we learn to sacrifice for one another. Amen.

Posted by matthewredder | October 15, 2012 | Categories: ARTing, Theology | Tags: arting, church, Colorado, Jessica Ridgeway, painting, theology | Leave A Comment »

Wandering Stars.

So, verse 13 in Jude has struck me dumb for some time. It probably began somewhere in high school when my ARTing buddies and I would get super emo and ‘Art’ together; listening to whatever brooding, foreboding, profound music was available. We would find ourselves oftentimes in the arms of ‘Portishead’ a popular singer/songwriter amongst the darker shades of life. She actually has a song entitled, Wandering Stars, and quotes verbatim the passage found in Jude 13, “wandering stars, for whom the deepest darkness has been reserved forever.” It honestly kind-of freaked me out then, and now, it more than freaks me out, it takes me to a place of sadness (over the lost) and anger (towards the enemy). I think; “it shouldn’t be like this. It shouldn’t end like this for people.”

The singer actually says, “And the time that I will suffer less is when I never have to wake” Does she believe herself to be beyond redemption? Her sins too great for the Almighty? Resigned to wandering through life, waiting only to meet her destiny in eternity. It’s an awful lie, and worse, a lie that so many in our communities and congregations embrace.

The Greek word for ‘Star’ in Jude is the word, Aster, and means a star like those in the sky: nothing more and nothing less. Contrast that to the word ‘star’ found in many translations of Philippians 2:15 which is the Greek word, phoster, which means that which gives light, of the stars, sun and moon. (The verse I am referring to in Philippians says, “so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe”)

And so here’s the kicker…

With or without God we are still stars: Divinely created, intentioned, and gifted. Without God, we are resigned to wander the darkness never fully embracing what we were created to do, sadly, just a star. However, with God we are not just stars, but illuminating agents of light in the universe: Pushing back darkness, brightening the path for others, fulfilling our Creator’s divine design. What a beautiful contrast, and what a tragic ending for those who never find the path. We are surrounded by those that need to be encouraged and empowered to shine. It is our commission as disciples of the True King to bring people to the feet of their creator, where the blood washes all sin, where the sacrifice wipes away all blemish. Where the star that is trapped beneath whatever grievous chain is set free to shine.

To God be the glory, shine my friends.

The actual lyrics;

“Wandering Star”

Please could you stay awhile to share my grief
For its such a lovely day
To have to always feel this way
And the time that I will suffer less
Is when I never have to wake

Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
The blackness of darkness forever
Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
The blackness of darkness forever

… Those who have seen the needles eye, now tread
Like a husk, from which all that was, now has fled
And the masks, that the monsters wear
To feed, upon their prey

Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
The blackness of darkness forever
Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
The blackness of darkness forever

(always) doubled up inside
Take awhile to shed my grief
(always) doubled up inside
Taunted, cruel…. …

Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
The blackness of darkness forever
Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
The blackness of darkness forever

Posted by matthewredder | October 12, 2012 | Categories: ARTing, Theology | Tags: arting, Portishead, Stars, theology | Leave A Comment »

Creative young eyes.

So my son, who is three, and who I fall more in love with every day, likes to build things. It’s fun to listen from the top of the stairs as he wrestles with a project, trying to get it just right. He yells in delight and runs to find us when the project is completed, and oftentimes we forget to be as excited for him as he is for us to see what he’s done. This project in particular just blew me away. It’s supposed to be a car transporter, and it would seem that Maddox decided to take that notion quite literally. Why not make a transporter completely out of cars? It makes perfect sense right?!…Yes, to a three year old it is clear as the Rocky Mountain Sky in Spring.

But this is where my mind was blown. Grown men, part of the Art movement in the early 20th century took months and decades to explore this kind of ‘artistic irony’ labelled Avant Garde, Dada, and eventually Surrealism. Reminds me of Dali’s Clocks, melting, the hard becoming soft, time wasting away. I guess on some level I am just a proud father. On another level I am challenged to continue looking at the world in new ways, odd ways, even absurd ways. I am challenged to keep Arting, because this world needs fresh, creative eyes.

I find inspiration at the hands of my son, and I am humbled that I was allowed to be his father. ~SDG~

Posted by matthewredder | April 26, 2012 | Categories: ARTing | Tags: arting, Colorado, Dali, Fatherhood | Leave A Comment »

Worst Blogger ever!

Why does my blog, which should be filled with art, theology, and other ramblings look more like a ghost town? The next logical question, “Do other people have the same problem?” Or maybe even, “What is the problem”, and, “Why Blog?” So I ask myself, why? WHY!?!

I find, like many other people I’m sure, this insatiable desire to share the parts of my life that I perceive to be worth sharing. I also have this crazy idea that maybe somehow, somewhere, there is that one person who will be encouraged by the things that happen here. Maybe there are other artists, who like me, have a hard time balancing their faith with their artistic giftings. I find that it feels to be worth it all if i just focus on that one person who needs a little lift.

So, why then does it seem to take so long in between posts? Am I seriously the worst Blogger EVER! I think that I, maybe like you all out there, think that I need to have that perfect post, with the perfect links, and the perfect pictures. I think that if I don’t have hundreds of people looking at these pages that I’ve failed. Or maybe even worse, that people don’t like the art that I create or the way that I view the creative process. Maybe people don’t like that I am a follower of Christ, who knows…there could be a million reasons. I find that I don’t have the mental energy to explore each and every one.

So I am a verbal processor, and here, I am a keyboard processor. Interestingly enough, when I started writing this post 30 minutes ago, I didn’t have an end in mind. But the end has come, whether I saw it there or not. I think that writing with that one person in mind is noble. Offering some small glimmer of hope to someone else is worth letting go of the false ideal that “perfect” is the only acceptable way to write. I also think that writing just to write is noble. Just like painting for painting’s sake is one of the most fulfilling and joyous things to do with an evening. So here it is, I’m imperfect, there’s no pictures with this post, and maybe no one will ever read it, but if in fact you are that one person: Be Blessed today and embrace your imperfection as I will mine.

~SDG~

Posted by matthewredder | April 19, 2012 | Categories: ARTing, Random? | Tags: artist, Bloggers, Christian, Colorado, theology | 2 Comments »

Nostalgia

Nothing spectacular. Just sitting at a stoplight outside of Phoenix on our epic Thanksgiving drive. Have you ever had a nostalgic flare-up? Like the ones that happen when you hear an old song, talk to an old friend, or smell that perfect smell that you only get once a year at grandmother’s house. Well, this past Thanksgiving I had one of those flare-ups and it was bad. So bad in fact, I had to write a quick poem to get it out of my system:

Nostalgia drips
Like food starved lips
Forgotten time
Runs down my spine.

I reminisce
And can’t resist
The clutching fists
Of nostalgic bliss.

There. That’s better. No it’s not.

The problem is, I love nostalgia. I love old friends, old memories, old smells, my parents home in South Phoenix, the park I inhabited for near 15 years, my old high school, the roads I used to drive on, etc, etc… I have often said I don’t believe that I will die of a heart attack, or a bee sting, or whooping cough, but nostalgia rather. And it will be a painful::heart-wrenching:: glorious death. One I actually look forward to. And in the meantime I reminded that it is well to have fond memories and a blessing to have a childhood home to go back to. I am reminded that there are so many that don’t have those things, or even a computer to write about them on, and I am grateful.

I live a life I don’t deserve. ~ SDG ~

Posted by matthewredder | December 9, 2011 | Categories: Random? | Leave A Comment »

Where your treasure is…

If you have spent any time in a church recently you have probably heard the rest of this rather amazing passage. In particular, this is one I have spent quite a lot of time thinking about. Admittedly it wasn’t until recently, like the last 5 years, that I was really able to connect the dots on this one. The full passage says, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”-Matthew 6:21. So very often we hear this passage in conjuction with a teaching about money. Which I don’t think is necessarily wrong, the reality is, money is one of the many resources we are entrusted with. However, the crux of the matter is plainly that our treasure includes so much more than just our bank accounts. We are talking about time, talents, money–literally every resource we have to draw upon. And I think knowing this changes the game on this one…

I recently stumbled upon yet another heart-wrenching story of a marriage ending due to one spouse realizing that they had “Never really fallen out of love with ________.” I imagine many of us have heard something similar, and with social media outlets like Facebook, Google+, and others reconnecting old flames, I doubt it’s going to get better anytime soon. Call it what you want, I am going to use the word epidemic, and I personally think it all comes back to a singular misunderstanding about the human heart.

The human heart is more like a toddler than a true decision-maker and yet many of us let our hearts lead us around like children flying kites frantically running through parks chasing the next great gust of wind. It is no wonder that the divorce rate is as high as it is, and that committed relationships are becoming harder and harder to find. As people we are encouraged to find happiness at any cost-find true love, a soulmate–no matter who or what is standing in the way. Think about it, if I take the treasure I have, and start pouring it into someone besides my significant other, I eventually wake up one day and my heart thinks it’s home is in someone else’s arms. Is it possible that we have been empowered to choose where we put our treasure, and that our hearts will follow?

I would like to go on and on, but would rather see some good conversation come from this: I leave you with 2 questions to think about.

1. How do pre-arranged marriages work? Where 2 people, who have had little to no previous contact whatsoever, are married and find deep abiding love?

2. Why, almost without fail, do people who have been married for 40-50-60 years ALWAYS say that they are more in love now, than when they first met?

~SDG~

Posted by matthewredder | July 17, 2011 | Categories: Theology | Tags: arting, Love, Matthew, Sermon on the Mount | Leave A Comment »

Tears.

Tears

Great messengers of anguish,
Great saints of sweet release.

Run your race across my cheeks,
Run to find eternal peace.

When I can no more contain,
The healing sting of soul-filled rain.
Your birth to be the rest I need,
Your death to be my sweet relief.

Live. Until we meet again,
Great friend who sleeps beneath the skin.

M.Redder ’10

So, I have been thinking a lot about tears lately. Yes, the kind that come out of your eyes, not the kind you get from rubbing your clothes against sharp objects. I recently had the oddest thing happen that truly spurred my interest once again in tears. I was talking to a friend, and he asked me to do something. As I opened my mouth to respond, I felt the warmth of tears well up, and sure enough-I was crying- as I struggled to answer a simple request. At this point I realized that my physical/spiritual/emotional self had reached its limit. My eyes were informing me that I needed to release and it needed to happen soon. You see, I actually really like tears. They are signals. Sirens. They let us know that whatever it is we are holding in will no longer be locked down. Great sadness, great joy-both can produce these little angels of information. I love knowing that I am living my life at a point where things outside of my nice little box can push me to a point of great emotion. In fact, I have already cried twice today. Hallelujah.

We live in a time and place where so often tears are looked upon as weakness or lack of self control. I for one don’t want to be so controlled that I am not moved by great pain or overjoyed to the point of tears. And there is nothing weak about being involved with other people to the point that you can cry with them, as they walk through this obstacle-laden life. We are stonger together, should there even be a question about that?

So the question isn’t have you cried lately, I think the real question is, “Are you living at a point where a tear may come to bring you a message, or have you suppressed them, because you are ultimately afraid of what they might say?”

Posted by matthewredder | June 29, 2011 | Categories: ARTing | Tags: artist, Christian, poetry, Tears | Leave A Comment »

When I grow up I want to be an artist.

I think I probably always wanted to be an artist. I love creating; I love people; and most of all I love this crazy life that we are all invited to live. I don’t exactly know what I think this space is supposed to be, or what I want it to be, but I know I want to neverstoparting and that I have been distracted the last few days thinking about all the possibilities of finally living out a story that I have felt beating away inside myself for far too long.

Pablo Picasso said, “All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” Amen Pablo. Dallas Willard says, “Our hunger for significance is a signal of who we are and why we are here, and it is a signal of humanity’s enduring response to Jesus. For He always takes individual human beings as seriously as their shredded dignity demands, and he has the resources to carry through with His high estimate of them.” Amen Dallas. And thank you Jesus for answering the cry of my lost, wayward, and lonely heart over a decade ago…Here is to living the life of imaginations and discovering the deep desires of the heart.

First recorded painting, Matthew Redder, Fine Art